I am sorry. I Love You.

 For you. For me.

Although I may fill this page with too many words that will make your "head hurt", there are only six words that you need to tuck into a file in your brain where your heart can always retrieve them:

I am sorry.

I love you.

I am sorry for all the times I got it wrong. There were so many, many times.

I am sorry.

We are very different, you and me, and that is not a bad thing at all, it just means what works for me may not work for you and it took a long time for me to figure that out. In fact, some days I still get it wrong. I am sorry for the times that I get it wrong, for the times that I get you wrong.

I am sorry for the times I pushed too hard, too far. For the times I pushed you before you were ready, before it was your time. Yes, watching you struggle to keep up with your peers was hard, so sometimes I pushed you as much for you as I did for me. I am sorry.

I am sorry for the times I didn't push enough. The times I thought it would be too hard for you so I let you slide. The world won't let you slide so by making excuses, by letting it go, I did you a disservice.

I am sorry for the times I thought I got it right. The times I thought I understood your overloaded  and tried to help but only made things worse. The times I thought you preferred to be alone and believed that your loneliness was somehow different than others.The times I thought I finally got it, but, still had so much to learn.

I am sorry for the times I lost my patience, yelled, swore and cried when I could not reach you. I know you were trying to let me in, but didn't know how. I am sorry that I tried to break down the door when you were working so hard on the other side to gently open it.

I am sorry.

It may be difficult for you to understand, but, through all my mistakes, through all my successes, through all the highs and lows, I did it all because I love you.

I love you for working so hard and never giving up.

I love you for never judging those who judge you.

I love you for always, without fail, being YOU.

I love you for helping me see the way you view the world and for not giving up on me for my lack of understanding.

I love you for loving me in your perfectly beautiful way. No one will ever love me like you.

I love you for forgiving me even when I didn't deserve your forgiveness.

I love you for accepting me just as I am, flawed, silly, confusing and "horribly annoying".

I love you for so many reasons, but, the one that matters most to me, the one that will always supercede the rest, I love you for letting me love you.

Just six words:

I am sorry.

I love you.


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